I won't sit here and say I am this most educated on the subject of sexuality, especially in terms of LGBTQ+ relationships. However, upon doing research into recent statistics, the most shocking fact I found was that less than 40 countries in the world have legalised same sex marriage. The first to legalise same sex marriage was the Netherlands in 2001.
This is too recent and unacceptable. Yes, we can praise governments for making changes; however would you praise them for making heterosexual marriages legal? No, because that would sound ridiculous allowing the basic human right of an individual being allowed to marry the one they love. So why is this so difficult for other countries? When getting political, it all comes down to human rights. There is a very long list of restrictions against individuals in the LGBTQ+ community alongside rules against genders, races, class.
Being an ally
As a heterosexual ciswoman, I consider myself an ally. I do not like this term, as an ally by definition should be the standard behaviour of a human being. For some strange reason, a lot of individuals like to judge others on the smallest things such as outfits, hair colour, sexuality etcs. Many say it is because “it’s not normal”... who is to say what is normal and what isn’t? Freddie Mercury hoovering in a wig and leather skirt was not normal, however he was still one of the most famous artists in the world. This is not to say Freddie did not receive a lot of criticism for this music video alongside his other band members.
My point is here is why are we judging those who are doing/ being something we don’t see as often as the ‘norm'? My normal and the next person's normal are two completely different things. Being an ally means to not be judgemental and show kindness to those in the LGBTQ+ community, this being said, we should all show kindness to every individual regardless of how they live their life and especially showing kindness to those who have faced many struggles such as those in the LGBTQ+ community. My outlook on life is if someone is not hurting me or directly affecting my personal life then why should it bother me? Why should I care if I see a same sex couple in public or on social media? It really is not difficult to treat others with kindness.
Expectations from women
Although I do not experience as many challenges as others out there when it comes to my sexuality, I still deal with stereotypes throughout the stages of my life. It started with discussions of when I was going to lose my virginity as I had a boyfriend when I was 15 going onto 16. Skipping to my 20s where I am now expected to go into nightclubs and find someone to hook-up with, but still not being too sexually active or you I be judged for that too... sigh. Or the dating field, where half of those my age only want weekend flings and half are having children and settling down. The 20s are a strange era in life. From experience of being a woman in my early adulthood and being around alike people, us women face many questions such as "when are you going to get a man?" or "how many kids do you want?" "when do you think you will have children?". We have passed the days where a woman needs a husband and child to be recognised as part of society. It is okay to want those stereotypical things as I myself do, but do this on your own timeline and not when society tells you that you should.
It is okay to not understand
It is not okay to be hateful because you do not understand. If you come across an individual who is living a certain way that you are not familiar with, then you have two options. Ignore it and carry on with your life as it is completely none of your business or the better option, educate yourself on the subject and if the individual feels comfortable enough to discuss their life with you then be an open ear. This does not mean you should go around asking people what their sexuality as that is unacceptable behaviour, however there are resources online where you can read people's stories that they have chosen to share to spread information to those wanting to continue the discussions of sexuality in all forms. There is always more to learn and the more we educate ourselves the more we are aware of the hard times and struggles many individuals face and we can be a support system for one another.
Things to remember
Treat others with kindness always.
Focus on your own life.
Do not insert your opinions onto others.
Do not let other people’s opinions control the way you live.
Be yourself always, the world needs you to be you.