top of page

How To Cope With Abandonment

Identifying the struggles of abandonment


Abandonment refers to leaving or deserting someone without intending to return or provide further care or support. It can refer to physical abandonment, where someone leaves a person or animal in a place where they cannot care for themselves, or emotional abandonment, where someone neglects to provide emotional support or attention to someone who needs it. Abandonment can have serious consequences, such as feelings of loneliness, betrayal, and a loss of trust. It can also result in physical harm or even death, especially in cases where the abandoned individual cannot care for themselves. This can create a fear of abandonment which is a type of anxiety that people face with the idea of losing someone they care for.

What causes abandonment issues?

Abandonment issues can be caused by a range of factors, including:

  • Childhood experiences: Traumatic experiences in childhood, such as neglect, abuse, or parental divorce, can lead to abandonment issues later in life.

  • Inconsistent or unreliable caregivers: If a child's caregiver is inconsistent in their care or presence, the child may develop a fear of abandonment.

  • Genetics: According to research, some people are more genetically susceptible to experiencing feelings of abandonment than others, which may impact abandonment difficulties.

  • Loss of a loved one: Losing someone you care about, whether via death, divorce, or separation, can make you feel abandoned.

  • Relationship trauma: Infidelity, betrayal, or emotional neglect in relationships can result in issues with abandonment later on.

Signs of abandonment

Childhood trauma is not usually the cause of abandonment trauma. It may also appear after losing someone by death or divorce. However, these difficulties may result from an adult or childhood abandonment and may have a detrimental effect on good relationships.

There are frequent signs of abandoned issues which include:

  • Friends not having you in their activities.

  • Jealousy in your relationship or friendships

  • Struggling with trusting your significant other and people.

  • Settling in undesirable relationships.

  • Feeling unsure about your relationship.

  • Giving too much effort or being overly eager to please.

  • Feelings of worthlessness.

  • Withdrawing socially.

Risk factors for abandonment

Depending on the circumstance, different things can increase the danger of abandonment. These are a few typical risk factors:

  • Past rejection or abandonment: People who have previously been rejected or abandoned are more likely to experience it again.

  • Attachment style: defined by a fear of abandonment, is more likely to experience feelings of abandonment.

  • Mental health conditions: Due to their increased emotional sensitivity and fear of rejection, people with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder may be more vulnerable to abandonment.

  • Trauma: People who have gone through traumatic experiences like abuse, neglect, or the death of a loved one may find it harder to cope with their emotions of abandonment.

  • Relationship patterns: Since unstable or turbulent relationships are more likely to end abruptly, these people may be more vulnerable to abandonment.

It's crucial to emphasise that while these risk factors may increase someone's susceptibility to feeling abandoned, they do not guarantee they will. Getting assistance from a mental health expert might be beneficial to manage these risks and dealing with any underlying concerns.

Treatments and coping methods for abandonment issues

Treatments for abandonment issues concentrate on setting healthy emotional boundaries.

Primary treatments for abandonment issues contain:

  • Therapy: Seek out the support of a mental health expert, such as a therapist or counsellor. They can assist you in overcoming abandonment phobias. They'll also help you understand the source of your fear and what to do if you start to feel it coming on.

  • Self-care: Self-care may be advantageous for those who have abandonment concerns. For friendships and relationships, it's crucial to see that emotional demands are satisfied. You can better support your partner, friend, or child in this way.

Very emotional conversations will undoubtedly result in failure. When this occurs, halt the discussion. Let them know you care, but take a short break. Support the person who is afraid of abandonment as well as yourself. Those who have difficulties with abandonment could find this more difficult, especially if their conversation partner leaves without letting them know where they're going.

There is so much that can help with coping with abandonment issues, and if your struggling with this, you can search on google for example, a really good website is,

In conclusion, the reason why I wanted to discuss abandonment was because I have dealt with it myself. I have been separated from one of my parents which has been difficult because it made me not trust anyone and become scared of falling in love because of the fear of being alone again. Coping with abandonment can be a complicated process, but it is possible to overcome the feelings of hurt and loss that it can cause. Here are some steps that may help:

  • Acknowledge your feelings: Allow yourself to feel the emotions of abandonment, such as sadness, anger, or loneliness. Recognizing and accepting these feelings is an essential step in moving forward.

  • Seek support: Contact trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. Joining a support group can also help connect with others who have experienced similar situations.

  • Take care of yourself: Practice self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Exercise can also be a great way to release pent-up emotions and boost your mood.

  • Focus on the present: Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, focus on the present moment. Mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises can help you stay centred and present.

  • Set boundaries: If someone else's actions caused the abandonment, it might be necessary to set boundaries or even cut ties with that person for your well-being. It's essential to prioritise your own needs and take steps to protect yourself from further harm.

Remember that coping with abandonment is a process that may take time to heal. Be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time. With time, support, and self-care, moving forward and finding happiness again is possible.


bottom of page