In 2023, we love nothing more than to keep ourselves distracted. Going for hot-girl walks whilst exclusively listening to your favourite podcast, watching your comfort tv show whilst mindlessly scrolling on Instagram or sleeping with an 8-hour loop of rain sounds playing from your smart speaker - I know I'm guilty of all three (don't tell anyone!). We rarely allow our minds to be silent, to listen to our thoughts, appreciate the sounds of nature and encompass the serenity that is pure silence.
"The Bedtime Fan app, available on Apple devices, has had more than 3m downloads, while the Android White Noise Generator has more than 1m." The Guardian, 2020.
Friends who you thought would be for life are outgrown. Going for a lovely walk on an early Sunday morning suddenly becomes a lot more desirable than going out partying and waking up with a dry mouth and sore head. How do we navigate these changes? How do we learn to grow through what we go through and learn who we truly are or who we want to be? Let's learn together! Here are five useful tips on how to get to know yourself again!
Feeling like you've lost touch with yourself is especially common when you suffer a mental health struggle, it is hard to know who you are when you emerge out the other side. People often find that they lose their sense of self, particularly when on the road to recovery. National Institutes of Health.
1. Get to know yourself better
We all need to try and learn to love ourselves a little bit more. Allow yourself to fall back in love with what makes you, you. Uniqueness is the biggest flex that we have as an individual so let's celebrate it! Ask yourself the following questions: Do you really know your likes and dislikes? What gets you excited about life? What life lesson did you learn the hard way? When you are 80 years old, what will matter the most?
2. Meditate
Meditation is often dismissed as a time-consuming and useless practice, but what it is, is an uninterrupted period of time spent with yourself. Time to focus on yourself, your breathing, embracing your mind and getting back in touch with your body. It increases self-awareness and intuition and reduces anxiety. Need I say more? Do your mind a favour and start with 5 minutes in the morning before you go to work. Our beloved internet is filled to the brim with helpful guides, take a look!
3. Mind dump
If you find your mind is always busy, whirling at 100 mph or even keeps you up at night, get it down on paper. unload your thought onto something physical. This could be as simple as the notes App on your phone or treating yourself to a cute new notebook. I first discovered this in a book called "The Artist's Way" By Julia Cameron.
"Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. *There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages*. They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not overthink Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page...and then do three more pages tomorrow." - Julia Cameron.
I've found this to be the most effective way of understanding and digesting some of my biggest feelings, hardest times and moments of struggle. They are unapologetic word vomit all over 3 pages that completely set you up for a day of clarity and achievement. Start with just one page and see how you get on! Let us know if it changes your life, I know it changed mine.
4. Take time out for yourself
We get so wrapped up in doing things that everyone else wants us to do, but it is super important to ensure you spend time with yourself too. Maybe reinvest in a hobby, make sure you go out for a walk every day and listen to your favourite playlist or join a sports club. It is never too late. Having something that is yours is so important as we grow through changes. A constant that you know you can control and is yours is a great way to invest in yourself! The gym is a great place to start, going to your favourite coffee place or joining a local class or club.
5. Find your fire
Always wear sunscreen. This one may have escaped my fellow '90s babies but if I remember anything from my early childhood, it was this song. Whenever I'm feeling lost or stuck, I will always play "Everybody's Free" By Baz Luhrmann. This song is the anthem of my mind's battles, my highs and my lows. I would always recommend a listen to this song but if this isn't for you, find your own version of it!
Surround yourself with uplifting, inspiring media and content. Sometimes, this song makes me want to quit my job and travel the world and sometimes it makes me want to be the biggest girl boss out there and invest in my career - both of these things are great!
It makes me excited for life, and what I'm going to achieve next, my mind whirls at potential possibilities and my talents are limitless. Find your version of this, and relight the fire you know you have within.
The truth is, we can never know who we truly are. We are still learning every day. Don't force yourself to have it all figured out or put a time limit on growth. Focus on yourself first and water the grass where it grows, you've got this!