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Writer's pictureLayla Charles

Divorce: The Impact On Everyone's Mental Health


The seperation of family


Divorce is a part of life that happens on the regular and in some ways is a blessing in disguise. When there is some sort of relief, the aftermath and the relationships that crumble can really affcet someone's mental health. Many families go through this stage in their lives, some are able to move on with hardly no change, yet some may seem the whole world is crushing down. When there has been a disagreement in which has been going on for years, divorce is the best option, you need to put your happiness first. It becomes more complicated when there is children involved, with regards to custody and how comfortable they are, in which their mental health is also impacted as well as the divorcees. Parents may bad mouth their ex partner to their children for a sense of reassurance and relief, however are they really thinking of the effects that this is having on them as a developing person and as someone who looks at them both as a role model. When their are children at different life stages such as at university, in full time work and not living at home. The confusion is really high. They will feel like they are loosing their relationships with certain people as contact is kept to a minimum or the behaviour of one parent through social media is one that they do not agree with.


Coping with divorce


When parents get divorce, there are many support facilities that they can turn too, but what about their children who are now feeling part of a broken family? supporting your child is the main way that they will feel like they can cope. Every childs reaction will be different when their parents seperate, but understand their feelings is a key method of gaining a insight on their mind and how it actually may be impacting their mental health. When parents separte when the children are younger this could impact them for the rest of their childhood, in which no parent wants to see their child upset, so talking to them and making custody arrangements that they are comfortable with remains key in the process of allowing them to cope. When the children are older and they have a more clear understanding on what is going on. Their mental health can be impacted the most. When social media starts getting involved and seeing how each parent is responding, can really influence how the relationship with each parent progressses. This can cause a high amount of anxiety and stress on an idividual that has recently lost a stable relationship, in which there needs to be well known and easy accessible methods in ways that can seek support and help for dealing with those mental health barriers.


Reaching out to cope

  1. Avoid taking the seperation personally- As hard as this may be its important as the breakdown of a parents relationshipis never the fault of your own- they may have just grown apart as people change and develop a new idea of what the want in their lives.

  2. Try and stay in neutral grounds- forming your own judgements on the sitaution can affect you mentally, there will always be the "pantomine villan" in the situation- but maintaining a neutral ground will help the relationship with both parents.

  3. Talk about it- it may be daunting and "embarrasing" to talk about the failure of your parents marriage with your friends or other people, but talking about it can help. It will give you a chance to have an outside view on what the best thing to do is, but also if your friends know you are going through a hard time they may be able to take your mind off things and allow you to have a break from all the added stress.

  4. Talk to your parents- this may seem intimidating for you as they are the reason why you are feeling like this, but if they understand how you are feeling this may allow them to talk to you and give you some reassurance on that they are there for you even if they are going through a hard time themsleves.

If this is impacting you or someone else you know it is important to reach out and get the help that may be needed. There are many helplines in which are all shown on mind.org.uk.

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